THE GOODS: LIVE HARD. SELL HARD Review

THE GOODS only sell a few trashy laughs here and there but for the most part, the movie is trash itself. I try to lighten up and I don’t mind R-rated comedy, I thought The Hangover was one of the funniest sh*t I’ve seen in a long time but… THE GOODS delivers more miss than hit. To no surprise actually because producer Will Ferrell’s silly humor is this movie’s only ammo. Jeremy Piven as Don Ready is just another version of Ari Gold, poor guy won’t be able to get away from Entourage.

Who is Don Ready? Salesman? Lover? Song Stylist? Semi-professional dolphin trainer? Ready is all of the above, except for a dolphin trainer. When he’s asked to help save an ailing local car dealership from bankruptcy, Ready and his ragtag crew descend on the town of Temecula like a pack of coyotes on a basket full of burgers. Selling, drinking, selling and going to strip clubs is their stock and trade. And they do it well. What Don doesn’t expect is to fall in love and find his soul (cue heartfelt piano).

If it weren’t for old man Charles Napier, this movie probably would put me to sleep faster than Ambien. His character is so hysterical, he needs to have his own movie. He falls under the typical comedy where there’d be one old person saying the darnedest things ever but Napier’s Dick Lewiston is rude, out of touch and unintentionally racist, now that’s funny.
Plain and simple, if you enjoyed Semi-Pro and Step Brothers (I’m baffled why you even would) then you’ll definitely enjoy THE GOODS: LIVE HARD. SELL HARD because it basically has the same type of comedy.
THE HANGOVER was funny because even the slapstick physical humor can be enjoyed by many who like to experience guilty pleasure once in a while and the characters are likable and not too far-out. The jokes in THE GOODS are only for easily amused adolescents and instead of laughing you’d be scratching your head wondering what the hell was so funny about what they just f*ing said.

I watched this in a theater where there’d be people laughing at the sight of a boner, a dildo, or a woman trying to seduce a man-child but I’ve become numb and maybe because I’ve seen too many of this comedy already way too often. It’d be funny the first time I encountered it but given enough exposure, any normal person would start checking his watch most of the time.
Just like any Will Ferrell movie, you’re presented with lots of characters and each would have personalities so dysfunctional and ridiculous, they can be overwhelming and easy to hate.

There are some decent moments, Craig Robinson as a psycho DJ, the guys mistaking Ken Jeong for a Japanese, and alligator just appears for no reason but the rest is unbearable. What’s even worse is.. after a while, I kid you not, all you’d hear are F this, F that, MF you, C bombs, the movie tries to throw every vulgar word in the urban dictionary hoping that one of them will at least get you to chuckle. Even the angels were cussing up a storm just for the hell of it. That’s all this movie has and they’d throw in an occupation.. selling cars. They could use the same materials and throw in a different job, janitors and voila! You have another movie for next summer.
Once again, I don’t mind R-rated comedy and I support free speech but I don’t really see the point when it’s nothing but that.

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